Drowning in tears without crying. Sitting motionless, Drowning silently in a room full of tears. Just sitting, unable to cry.
I've been wide awake since 3 am. It's an intriguing time of night, 3 am. I like to call it 'the dead of night'. Nature is sleeping sweetly. The wildlife that frequents my garden are all nestled, gently breathing. Even the trees look asleep, as they stand strong and still, without a quiver from a single leaf.
I have two sleep disorders that originate in the hypothalamus within my brain. Both disorders cause me to be chronically sleep-deprived on a daily basis. I can't have one disorder - no, my bonkers brain is greedy and must have two sleep disorders!
This blog is an descriptive explanation of what bipolar disorder episodes feel like to me. I feel like two completely different people; one of me with a bit of a handle on life, and the other like a space cadet terrorised by my acute senses, hallucinations and my screaming, racing brain. I feel out of control in manic episodes and the depressive episodes leave me numb, lifeless and disconnected from my body ...