When a New Romance Blossoms
A new romance is a beautiful thing, but I find it even more beautiful when mixed with bipolar disorder. My emotions, depth of feeling and admiration are enhanced by several notches when compared to my non-bipolar romantic encounters of the past, before I became ill.
I love the wonderful heady feeling created by a brain awash with hormones and chemicals. The racing heart and butterflies in the tummy, the tingling excitement when we hold hands, all the hallmarks of romantic attraction. Everyone who falls for someone experiences these feelings. But, add bipolar into the mix and these feelings ignite into an orchestral serenade of sound and colour that is richer and brighter than imagination can conjure.
Bipolar illness is a mood disorder, and at a basic level, it causes extremes of mood. So normal feelings of happiness and elation can escalate tenfold. Attraction becomes a super-charged love. It’s love on steroids. It’s love built on diamond roses. It’s breath-sucking, heart-racing love. It’s like being a teenager again, only wiser!
It is a wonderful feeling, but it could be dangerous for me if I am not careful. The escalated mood could spiral out of control and become a manic episode, so I need to keep myself grounded, stick to my treatment plan and make sure I get good quality sleep.
It’s a wonderful feeling, but it could lead to problems, as the other person can’t hear the same orchestra or see the same colours as me. It could result in a disparity of feelings if I don’t keep a check on my emotions. It could lead to disappointment if I jump in with both feet – as the bipolar half of me has a tendency to do. The sensible half of me luckily knows I need to stay grounded and take each day a step at a time, celebrating everything that comes with it.
Despite the risks that come with the illness and relationships, we have had an incredible few months so far. Sharing everything about how the illness can affect the developing relationship has helped. So has setting expectations and creating boundaries for each other. We have shared our feelings and emotions which have helped us both stay grounded, and I have described the stunning sounds and colours created by the orchestra! We cherish time together and time apart.
Talking, listening, sharing and caring is so good for the soul and strengthens the blossoming romance. I am so lucky to have found someone so wonderful who I am in tune with and who really gets me! Life is good 🙂